It’s been awhile. I’m not usually like this, but what better way to try to organize and understand my thoughts, than to flesh it out in words.
I really don’t know who I could physically explain this to in words, so I turn to tumblr. Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful for the love and support I have from all my friends & family, but I don’t like burdening them with feelings I can’t really explain.
This is probably the worst I’ve felt in a really long time. Nothing is comparable to February 27, 2013, but this is a close second. And that in itself is what bothers me so much.
Why should I let someone bring me to tears almost as much as the death of my own mother? It’s easy to tell someone that they shouldn’t feel stupid, but they’ll still feel pretty stupid for crying over trivial matters, AKA me.
The world works in a weird way. I know that I’m a guarded, unemotional, independent, & strong person on the outside, but it seems obvious now that I’m pretty fragile when I let someone in. When I let myself whole-heartedly care about someone else other than myself. That’s probably the one mistake I made. I let myself in too deep, when I should’ve known better than to put myself in that vulnerable position. Life isn’t fair, and it’s definitely not fair when it’s obvious you care a lot more than the other person does. Why should I care so much about someone that doesn’t recognize the fact, or share the exact same sentiments? Logically, I shouldn’t.
But you know what? No matter how much I tell myself that it was a mistake, and how many things I can say to convince myself that I shouldn’t have taken the risk; The risk was worth it. The beauty of taking risks and trusting people to take care of your heart, is training yourself for the day that you really can believe in someone with your whole entire being.
So, I guess I can believe in second chances.
"It’s crazy how your world can be rocked upside down and to everyone else it’s just another day"
But I have something that I wanted to say to you all if you’re listening.
Don’t take life for granted. Whether it be yours, family, close friends. I know it’s a bit cliche and everyone’s heard it, but I can honestly say that I believe in it now. Instead of going out and getting trashed on the weekends, maybe sacrifice a little bit of your time and spend it with your parents or that one person you lost touch with. Cause when it happens and they’re gone, it’ll be too late and all that you wanted to say to them will be stuck with you forever.
Where is this coming from? My own regret. It took all of this for me to come home, actually stay at home, and spend time with my mom instead of going out all of the time. Now I wish I had more time to spend with her when she was well and when she could actually sit up, walk, and do things on her own. And pretty soon I won’t have her anymore at all.
Don’t be me.
I’ve fallen in love with ear wraps…
I got my first fedora today. Heeeheeee.
She spelled atheist wrong too.. hehe.
>11 years old
>true 90s kid
taking two dicks at once<3
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH KIDS THESE DAYS? No more outside world for you.
ELEVEN YEAR OLD SLUTS.
I cant express my hatred in words.
LOLOLOLOL WHAT THE FUCK.
and you yell like an idiot at the tv telling her to get the fuck out of there but she usually trips on fucking nothing and looks like this